It’s not a matter of if…

It’s a matter of when.

It’s been a while since I’ve updated on how I am doing and how this pregnancy is fairing. I’ve had some good days; days filled with little to no bleeding and hardly a sign of fresh blood. The days have progressively gotten worse, though. I’m still home, only because I have the tools available to keep an eye on most things myself and can report that to the doctors as the days go by. Unfortunately, I know that my time at home is quickly coming to an end and thus will begin the lengthy stays in a different city for many reasons.

The last few days, in particular, have been challenging. I’ve had an increased amount of bleeding, but not so bad as to soak a pad. The blood has been bright red, all fresh. The clots have been even more of a challenge. I’m still taking it easy. I’m resting, laying down and hanging out. It’s not the most fun in the world, but it’s all for the better of this little guys life.

Simon is still really active. Sometimes his activity is quickly followed by an increase in bleeding, while other times it seems as though he’s staying away from the placenta. Thankfully. We still try to make the best, as a family, of interacting with him when he’s most active and kicking at the top of my uterus. Rob and Jaden both enjoy following the kicks by lightly tapping on my stomach. They love seeing movement across my belly through my clothes, too.

I’m taking medication every three hours, round the clock, on top of the herbal treatments; attempting to keep the contractions at bay. It’s hard. I’m tired and struggle at times with taking so many drugs, but never lose site that we are doing all that we can to keep Simon inside, growing.

I’ve done my research and I am well aware that I will deliver Simon before he is term, the only question is just how early. I’m 24 weeks pregnant, tomorrow. YAY! 24 weeks from LMP brings with it a 60% chance of survival if born. Each day through this week, with the administering of steroids for lung development brings the chance of survival up almost 4% until reaching 80% at 25 weeks. We would definitely like to get through one more week at least. Is that going to happen? I’m not entirely sure.

Although I’m positive that Simon can fight through the challenges and difficulties that await should he be born at this time, I have to look at my health realistically and understand that it’s just not that straight forward. The bleeding really needs to stop for a few more days. If not, I feel certain that I will be transported via life-flight to St. Joseph’s hospital in Denver.

In Denver I will meet with the Neonate team, discuss treatment plans and options and after careful evaluation, will hopefully be granted the 24-48 hours to complete the steroid treatment for lung development if it isn’t started on Monday, here. A c-section will be done and off this little guy will go. He will be at one of the best neonate hospitals in the country.

I know we are getting extremely close to delivery as the contractions aren’t staying away, even while I’m taking medications every three hours (at least), round the clock. I will be back in the doctors office Monday, hopefully without issue. We are in need of another ultrasound to evaluate my placenta and preferably starting the steroids then, as a precaution.

Rob’s mom is planning an emergency leave of absence when it’s time for me to deliver Simon so that she can take care of Jaden while we are contending with the ups and downs ahead.

Ideally, I want to give Simon all that I can to boost his weight. If he is 1000 grams (2lb 3oz) or higher at birth, the chances of disability decreases dramatically. If he is under that magic number, the statistical chances are good that he will have some issues to contend with for life. We want the best for him, absolutely! We’ve fought tooth and nail for over half of this pregnancy to keep him going and to keep my body from delivering. We aren’t giving up hope before his life outside has begun.

So really, it isn’t a matter of if Simon will be born prematurely, it’s just a matter of when and how early.

If you have read through all of this, thank you. I posted it here as a reflection for myself down the road. I’m positive that I’ll need this at some point in the future as a reference.